As I just announced our news on Facebook, and plan on providing the link to this blog very soon, this will be the first page that you all see (and are reading right now)! So, I figure it's probably time to share the story of how this little baby came to be.
Let me just start by saying that it wasn't easy. And that's exactly the reason that I'm writing this blog. I've spent months and months watching other people's Facebook pregnancy and birth announcements roll across my news feed, feeling discouraged and depressed. I've been jealous of fictional TV characters who got pregnant before me. At times there were even some tears. If you know me personally, you know that I am fairly level-headed and not a super emotional person. Well, not so when it comes to this baby business.
I think I was ready (or thought I was at least) to start trying for a baby about 3 weeks after we were married. Of course, I didn't share these feelings with my beloved spouse immediately, because come on - I had
some sense! So I waited a few months, and began dropping what I considered "subtle hints". (You may want to check with him for the full story on the alleged "subtlety" of these hints.) Anyway, he wasn't ready, and that meant no babies. Eventually my hints became what I'm now sure was flat-out begging and pleading. Yet, he stayed calm and collected, always responding with, "Someday", "Eventually", or even worse "Soon enough". It drove me crazy. And of course I'm sure my begging didn't drive him crazy at all, or make him wonder what kind of weirdo woman he married, who just wanted him for his baby-making abilities.
I'm sure you're surprised to hear that "eventually" did come around "soon enough" and when we both had prayed and had peace (what a concept - perhaps I should have tried that sooner) we began trying for a baby in July 2010! I was ecstatic! I was just sure that it would happen right away, and I couldn't wait to begin planning our new life with a little baby! I had started Natural Family Planning a few months before, and was very in-tune with my body, so I knew exactly what we needed to do. We prayed daily for God to bless us with a baby, and were quite positive.
As I'm sure you've guessed by now, it didn't happen the first month. I was disappointed, but thought surely it would happen the next. Nope, not then either. As a few months went by, I began to get very discouraged. Daryl, ever the optimist, remained hopeful - but I was sure this was just the beginning of a long road where we slowly discovered that we would never be able to get pregnant or have our own children.
We visited our doctor 6 months into the process to discuss concerns with my fertility, and what kind of tests we might begin. My tests weren't that bad - I simply got poked with needles and countless ounces of blood drawn, as well as spending close to 3 hours on Valentine's Day evening waiting in the lab for a glucose test. Daryl's test (even though he only had one) was far more embarrassing than mine - but that's another story for another time. Thankfully, his test came back just fine! So, more testing for me - needles, blood draws, and even an ultrasound. Finally my doctor decided that I could have PCOS (polycycstic ovarian syndrome), but she wasn't for sure, however went ahead prescribed a medication called Clomiphene (Clomid) to help me ovulate regularly.
By this point, it had been too long for me to be too hopeful about trying any one specific thing. I began the Clomiphene, and also started researching other methods for getting pregnant (IUI, IVF), as well as adoption. Round 1 of Clomiphene - nothing. Round 2 of Clomiphene - nothing. I called my doctor. She reassured me and said that we would try a few more rounds before moving on to anything more drastic. Round 3 of Clomiphene - hmm.... I didn't want to get my hopes up, but something was different. I bought a pregnancy test. Nervous, I took it. I waited. Seriously, how long could 3 minutes be?? I peeked at the test. There was 1 line... was that another line??? Oh my gosh - THERE WERE 2 LINES ON THE TEST!!!!!!! I raced into the living room to show Daryl. I was shaking. I shoved it in his face and said, "Look - 2 lines!!" He was a little surprised and confused, but finally the news sunk in for both of us. I WAS PREGNANT!
Prayers and waiting bring us to the point where we are now. It's beginning to feel real, like this will actually happen. We will actually bring home our baby in July. (I still appreciate all prayers for peace of mind for us, and safety and health for our baby.)
I feel a little bit more kind-hearted to pregnant girls out there now. I'm not overcome by insane jealousy when I see someone with a cute little baby bump. However, our struggle to get here has given me unique perspective. I'm blessed beyond blessed to be carrying this baby right now. I'm so excited that God has chosen this child for us. I'm also aware of how painful others' joy can be for those who are suffering. So that's why I've decided to share all things baby-related here. I won't bombard your Facebook feed with ultrasound pictures and baby updates - you'll have to come here for those. But be warned - I'm excited about this baby and will be sharing everything here!! It's been a long time coming, and I'm ready! Thank you, Jesus!!!!!