Father's Day was beautiful and sunny and WARM! It was somewhere in the 70s, and we soaked up the sun and had fun SWEATING.
Get this baby some Vitamin D! See those little rolls on her legs? She's gaining weight! We are thrilled about that.
We all really enjoyed our day. Daryl and I listened to a message online from our old church, Eastlake, in Lawrence while we sat out on a blanket in the sun. That was fun until a bird flew over and unloaded on us. We changed and went back outside but I was paranoid the rest of the day that it would happen again. I reminded myself that it was probably like lighting - it wouldn't happen again in the same spot. I can't speak from personal experience about lighting, but I'm pleased to say the birds crapped elsewhere for the rest of the day.
All good moms let their kids eat sunscreen, right? It doubles the protection, I'm sure.
Aven had another weight checkup last Friday at our doctor here in town. She gained a pound a grew an inch since her 9 month checkup the month before! That is really an answer to prayer, especially after this and this.
The same day, we received a call from the GI specialist we saw at Children's. He said, basically, there is nothing wrong with her, at least from a GI standpoint. The X-rays didn't show rickets, which is good, and the urine test he did there showed no reducing substances (which is what showed up when they tested here in Sitka, which led us all to believe initially that it was something metabolic), so that's also good. He recommended the same approach as the endocrine doctor did - just make sure she is getting extra calories by putting butter or oil in her food.
I am so thankful for all the prayers from everyone, and know that they are helping Aven grow stronger. She is still far behind where she should be for her age, both in weight and some developmental milestones, but I can see her growing! She has also started seeing an OT (Occupational Therapist) as recommended by our doctor here, so hopefully we will get some good information and exercises we can do with her, and set goals that she can reach.
I know that all of these things we're going through are tiny, compared to the big picture, and compared to other families and their struggles. But what I've learned from my life is that everything is big in its own way. I see other people dealing with things with their kids and think, "I'm not strong enough to do what they're doing. How are they staying sane through all this?" But I know other people with kids who are excelling in everything they do, and are incredibly advanced, so maybe they're looking at me and wondering the same thing? I don't know, because I'm not in their shoes, either.
It seems that most lessons I learn are about how I should not be a judgey-mcjudgerson. It's interesting how I keep having to learn that over and over. Maybe I should listen better. I'm just thankful that Jesus has patience as He keeps teaching me these things.
I have so much more that I want to say, but I don't really know how to say it. Maybe it would sound like complaining - how I wish Aven would meet her milestones and crawl, or pull herself up, or grow more teeth so she could eat food like a normal almost-one-year-old. I could reveal my self-doubts, like is it my fault that she has poor muscle tone and isn't crawling yet because I hold her too much? She's my first little baby to cuddle, so maybe that would make sense. Or my fear that I didn't feed her or nurse her enough and that's why she lost weight. I should have noticed something was happening. Was I starving her because I was trying to feed her healthy foods? Maybe I should have listened to everyone who was telling me to feed her more, maybe they were all right. I could complain about how much it bothers me when people comment on how little/skinny/tiny/petite she is. I know it's true, and I love her however she looks, and they don't know that it bothers me. I don't know why she's that way, she just is right now. Then there are those people who give me that look, that "you don't know what you're wishing for" look when I say she's not crawling yet and tell me to just wait, that it'll happen before I know it and I'll wish she was tiny and immobile again. But they don't understand that I just want to know that she CAN crawl, that she will be able to accomplish these things.
In all that rambling is honesty, whether it makes sense or not. I try to be open and realistic on this blog, which is helpful for me and I hope others. And now I'm at the end of this post, and I don't have any spectacular life lessons or specific biblical references about what Jesus has taught me through all this, other than that I don't know what I'm doing and even when I think I do, I still don't. But after all she's not really mine, she's His, and for whatever reason He's blessed us with her for this time.
And I'm so thankful for that. Because I love this little face. And even though this is just her eyes, I think this photo is simply adorable.
But I might be biased.
Bethanie- you are a great momma and Aven is blessed to have you. You can't hold a baby too much! That love and nurturing you've been giving her will last a lifetime. The weight and growing will come and milestones will be reached. But you've already given her so much that ther babies don't get from their mommas. Having worked in a daycare, I saw kids that were maybe doing all the developmental things but totally were deprived and lacking in the nurture
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