It's my birthday!

And I'm all alone...except for this sweet girl:

I would love to be with both of these two today, but that simply isn't happening. :(

And this is the reason why:

There are days when I love the Coast Guard and days when I hate it.

Anyway, life is otherwise pretty good. The darling baby keeps me pretty busy, hence the lack of updates on this blog!

She is working on sitting up:

And loves the cat! He's fond of the petting, but doesn't understand why she grabs his fur!

Anyway, here are some other adorable pics as of late.

Halloween

Not a big fan of the snow.

And also, if you're interested, here's a sweet giveaway: http://www.thenatos.com/2012/12/boom-this-is-big.html?showComment=1354910676523#c6824740030674760972
Just in time for Christmas, so hurry! :)

Holy cow we have a real-life baby in our home

Look - there she is! Wow, this is crazy. Just so you know in advance, this post might be a little all over the place, because that's how my brain is working right now. Some thoughts on the baby, some random confessions...you know, all the good stuff.

I've had 2 1/2 weeks with our new daughter now. After the craziness of her birth, it was kind of nice to get out of the hospital and come home. But then we got home and I realized that we had to be responsible for her. There weren't any nurses that would come make everything better when we pushed a button. If she cried all night WE got to sit up and rock her. Seriously, how does anybody do this?? Who knew that after looking forward to leaving the hospital, I would soon wish we could be back there?

That first night actually went pretty well. Once we figured out where everyone was going to sleep, that is. We swaddled her and put her in her little sleeper that came with the pack 'n play. She looked happy, lying there and staring at the light. (This is what babies have in common with bugs. They like to stare at lights. That, and if you put them on their backs they get stuck and just lie there waving their arms and legs. When Aven does this, we just call it "Baby Tai Chi", because that's what it looks like she's doing.)  So she was lying there peacefully, which I should have taken advantage of, but I suddenly got really scared. What if she spit up and choked? I didn't know if Daryl would hear her and wake up, and with the c-section I couldn't just bound out of bed. Odds are, she would have been fine, but for me it was too much to handle. There were a lot of tears that night. Daryl was awesome. He just comforted me, and suggested that she sleep in bed with us. That turned out to be a great solution. She slept great that night, and so did we.

And that's the only time it's happened so far.

Ha, I'm serious. Kind of.

Oh, and then my husband had to go back to work Monday and went underway for 10 days. (Yay for the Coast Guard.) And my parents left yesterday, after being here for 3 weeks. It's just me and the baby, very suddenly it seems like.

I know all new moms probably feel this way and they all say "No one told me _____ (insert shocking realization of parenthood)". But seriously, no one told me so many of the things I feel like I should know! Or maybe they did, and I just didn't listen? Like, what are you supposed to do with the baby when you need to shower? Or more importantly, when you need to poop? Why do I feel guilty if I'm not constantly holding her? I know she's sleeping peacefully in her swing, but I feel like I should just be sitting and holding her. Why does she spit up so much? Do I not burp her enough?

There are some things that are kind of easy about having a baby. Changing diapers is easy. Except for when she shoots poop all over the couch. Breastfeeding is really pretty easy (even though I know this isn't true for everyone). Taking pictures of her and plastering them all over facebook is easy.

Then there's the realization I had this morning that I don't really want to deal with. I was sitting on the couch, missing Daryl. Okay, to be honest, crying a little bit. We could blame hormones, but I really do miss him. I was realizing how much I depend on him. I can't even reach the dishes on the top shelf of my kitchen cabinets without him. He always loads and empties the dishwasher when he's here. He's outgoing so I don't have to be. He pays the bills and keeps up with our bank statements. He takes out the trash and gets the mail. Wow, I really sound like I contribute so much to this relationship, don't I? At least I cook and feed the baby. But he changes all the diapers during the day when he's here. I change them at night.

Okay, moving on with what I realized. Or what God showed me, which is probably a more accurate description. I depend on my husband too much. Not necessarily for physical things, like help around the house, but for my emotional needs. If I'm sad, I know he will make me happy. I feel protected by him. He encourages me. Of course, I try to do all these things for him, too. But these things aren't his responsibility. I don't spend time with God often enough, but I always make time for my husband. I come very close to idolizing him. Yikes, that was really hard to type. I know that for our marriage to be solid, we both need to have God as our first priority. Some people won't understand this, I know. But if God's first, everything else will fall into place. By following His commandments we'll be in the right mindset to take care of each other. It will be easier to love each other.

I knew that moving up here would be a challenge, and I would have to depend on God more than I did in Kansas. Which is probably one of the reasons we did get stationed here. God is sneaky like that - He likes to teach us lessons and help us grow. That's not always super fun. Actually, it usually sucks, to be honest. But the result of growing in Him is that I am stronger, and hopefully a little bit wiser, and closer to Him. So even though I'm missing Daryl every day, I'm going to work on growing closer to God and depending on Him to comfort me. And then I'm going to be super happy to see Daryl when he gets back!

I told you this post was going to be a little bit of everything. And yes, I did have the sleeping baby on my lap the whole time. But she just had a poop explosion in her diaper, so I have to go take care of that now.

Birth Story

Finally, here is our darling girl's birth story! It's long, just like the labor.... But don't worry - it's not gross or gory or anything. :) Oh yeah, and pictures - you can't get enough of those! Scroll down to the bottom to see some of the latest ones.

Aven Faith’s due date was July 20^th. She decided she was nice and comfy inside Mommy, and didn’t want to come out that day. On Thursday, July 26^th at 1:00 pm we went to the doctor for our normal twice-weekly appointment. I had been being watched closely for some signs of mild pre-eclampsia, and had been told to rest while at home. At the doctor appointment, they did another non-stress test on the baby (which had been standard ever since the pre-eclampsia started), and checked my blood pressure. Baby Aven still looked good on the NST, but my blood pressure was very high. Our doctor, Dr. Roesel, decided to send me over to the hospital for the night so they could watch my blood pressure, then start an induction in the morning.

A bit overwhelmed that things were starting to happen so quickly, Daryl and I went home to get our hospital bags, and tell my parents, who had just flown in the night before. We rounded up our things and headed back to the hospital, feeling nervous, but excited about seeing our daughter the next day.

We checked into Sitka Community Hospital at 3:00 pm and got settled. They took blood from me and started an IV (just a saline lock), then inserted a Foley Bulb catheter into my uterus to help my cervix begin to dilate. That was not fun. Daryl went back home to pick up my parents, and they came back at 5:30. We ordered Chinese and ate it there in the hospital room. I could feel my contractions start to pick up a bit, which was exciting!

My parents took our car and went back to sleep at our house that night. Daryl and I stayed at the hospital. My contractions grew weaker and slowed down as the night went on, which was disappointing. We talked about how excited and nervous we were for the induction to start tomorrow. I remember asking Daryl what if I couldn’t do it without pain medication? (It had been my plan to have a natural, unmedicated birth – which was changing some already with the induction measures.) He reminded me that I was the strongest woman he knew, and he was sure I could do it. I appreciated his support, but was still a little nervous. I think my main concern was that the induction wouldn’t progress, and I would have to have a c-section, which I was really scared of.

I should mention that even though Daryl expressed his faith in me and how strong I was, there was no way I could have done this without him. He held my hand and let me squeeze his during contractions, rubbed my back and legs, let me lean against him, and did absolutely anything I asked immediately. He was an amazing support for me.

Friday morning came, and at 8:00 am I was checked to see how the Foley Bulb was working. It had done its job and I was dilated to 3 cm! At 9:00 am they started the Pitocin to induce labor. I was excited and nervous!

I labored all day on the Pitocin. At first, the contractions weren’t too strong or regular, but they slowly started to pick up in strength and frequency. I used my Hypnobirthing breathing techniques I had practiced, and was able to manage the pain fairly well. Since my blood pressure was up and I was on the Pitocin, I had to be constantly monitored, which meant staying in bed for the most part, lying on my left side.

At 6:30 that evening, Dr. Roesel came to check me again. My contractions, though building in strength, hadn’t developed a regular pattern, I hadn’t dilated any further, and the baby’s head hadn’t dropped. He talked about the possibility of stopping the Pitocin overnight so we could rest, and moving me to another room in the hospital so an incoming laboring woman could have the room we were in. (Did I mention that at the hospital we delivered at there was 1 labor and delivery room, 2 recovery rooms, and that weekend there happened to be 4 women delivering babies there?)

I was very frustrated and upset at the thought of having “wasted” a whole day. I felt like it wasn’t fair that I, who had been there over 24 hours already, got pushed to the side so someone else could come take my room and have their baby. There were a lot of tears at this point. The contractions also continued to get stronger, which didn’t help anything. The only good part of this time was that they let me get out of bed and sit and roll around on the birthing ball to try and help the baby drop.

At 9:00 pm, after delivering the first of 3 other babies, our doctor came back to check my progress. He was surprised to see that my contractions had developed into a nice pattern of coming 2-3 minutes apart, and I had dilated another centimeter and was now up to 4 cm! Since I was now in active labor, I wasn’t going to be moved anywhere (ha – take that, other preggo!). He broke my water to continue to help keep things moving along, which also made the contractions more intense, but they were now easier to manage since I knew I was working toward a baby that night! (I thought….)

At 10:30 the nurse came to turn off the Pitocin to see how my body would progress and handle labor on its own, as the doctor had ordered. (We found out the next morning that our doctor had cancelled his order to stop the Pitocin after seeing the progress I was making, but no one saw that order.) The contractions kept up in frequency for a bit, but then began to slowly spread apart, keeping up in intensity. At this point, I was thrilled to see Sharon, a woman we had talked to about being our doula and who was also a nurse, had been called in to help with the rush of babies. Since she knew us, she stayed in our room the better part of the night, encouraging us to rest and rubbing my feet. Daryl fell asleep around 1:00 am and I slept/rested in between contractions, which settled into a rhythm of 8 – 10 minutes apart.

8:00 Saturday morning came and Dr. Roesel showed up at the hospital, surprised he hadn’t received a call overnight. He checked me and found no change, so the Pitocin was started up again at 9:00 am. I was tired and dreading going through another day on Pitocin. I hoped things would progress faster this time.

I continued laboring through the contractions, which were again building in intensity (really – how much stronger could they get?) and slowly picking up in frequency. My blood pressure was high unless I did anything but lay on my left side, so that’s where I was confined all morning. I tried to find as many excuses as I could to use the bathroom, just so I could get out of bed and give my hip a rest. I noticed that when I happened to be up moving and had a contraction, it was much easier to manage. Lying still in bed did nothing to help the pain.

At 1:00 that afternoon, they began to talk about an epidural. I had reached 6 cm. By this point, exhausted and not sure how much longer I could continue lying on my left side, I was more than ready to accept the pain medication (which also wasn’t on my birth plan). By 1:30 the epidural, which I had been afraid of, was done. It hadn’t been as scary as I thought, and the pain from the contractions was slowly drifting away. It felt great!

My parents came into the room to see how things were going and were glad for the update after spending the night at the hospital not knowing anything. Shortly after, at 2:30 pm, Dr. Roesel came back to check me and found I was at 7 cm. However, Baby Aven’s heart rate began to drop during contractions – from the 140’s down to the 50’s – 80’s. This was incredible scary, as we could hear it on the monitors. She still had yet to drop any further down into my pelvis, and he decided it was time to get her out.

There was a rush of activity as everyone began prepping for the c-section. I was a little scared, but more scared of how she was doing inside me, so I wanted to get it over as quickly as possible. They discovered that my IV had gotten blocked up somehow, and had to start another one, which required 3 tries before they could find a vein they could stick. Finally everything was ready – I was wheeled into the operating room and Daryl followed shortly after. The sheet went up, the nurse anesthetist started the meds, and Daryl took his place by my head.

At 3:28 pm, Aven Faith was born! I heard them exclaim over how much hair she had, then I heard her beautiful first cries! I began crying myself, and couldn’t wait to see what she looked like. Daryl went over and took pictures as they cleaned her off, then brought her over to see me.

The rest of that day is a bit of a blur, as I was out of it from the surgery, but they finished fixing me up and sent me to recovery where I finally got to see and hold Aven at 5:00 pm. She nursed right away and was a pro at it, which was good considering I couldn’t do much to help her at that point. After a bit we got to go back to our room and my parents came in to hold her. She was a very quiet baby, and only cried that first night if she was transferred from person to person. She loved being held and snuggled by everyone.

We are so blessed to have a healthy daughter to hold and love. I can’t believe she’s finally here! Sometimes it felt like this day would never come… so I’m trying to enjoy every minute, even the sleepless ones! Thank you, God, for Aven!

Okay, so my apologies - this is the most recent picture I had on the computer. I'll upload more and post them soon!

38 weeks (tomorrow)

Just a quick photo before we run off to our doctor appointment. It'll be 38 weeks tomorrow! Technically she could come at any time now, but we're hoping she waits just a little bit longer so we can get more of the house unpacked and organized!!

38 weeks - think she's dropped?

Oh, and I just realized I didn't put up the previous belly pic that I took. So here ya go, just for comparison:

This was somewhere around 36 weeks.

Hey there, Alaska!

So this is the place of the midnight sun, hmm? Well, maybe the sun shines somewhere... but here it's been seldom so far. I think we've actually had about 3 sunny days which I've very much enjoyed! Otherwise the weather can be pretty dreary. And cold! I know most everyone in the country is experiencing temperatures above 100 degrees, but here we're hanging out right around 50 degrees. I'm just used to summer and the heat, so it feels weird.

We moved into our place (early - yay!) and have been slowly starting to set it up. Of course, the day after we moved in, Daryl had to go underway on the boat and won't be home until Friday. I'm trying to get as much unpacking done as I can by myself. I'm sure it's amusing to watch me waddle between boxes and try to reach the kitchen shelves which are crazy high!

On one of the sunny days I went out and took pictures, so I'll stop typing and start uploading photos instead. When the sun is shining it's not a bad view here. Enjoy!

Looking toward Sitka

See Daryl's boat? Facing the camera, dead center of the photo.

View from the bridge toward Mt. Edgecumbe, the inactive volcano.

Oh, you mean this isn't the view you have from the grocery store parking lot? 

Silly husband. :)

What if....

So I was going to post about Alaska. I actually have a draft saved and was trying to upload photos, but that was taking forever and I got bored. I will post those soon, I promise.

In the meantime, I came across this video that was made several years ago highlighting infertility. It's not too lighthearted, let's make that clear. But I think it's really good to watch. It really hits home for me - and this is someone who just had to experience the very edge of infertility. By the grace of God I required only minor medical intervention to help me get pregnant. But I still know what this feels like.

(Note: the way this is filmed is a little jumpy at the beginning, but it gets better.)

It's been too long without an update

Time to let the general population know how things are going! And they are going, well... crazy! We move in less than 2 weeks, I'm not done with school yet (something like 3 days... I dunno, it's too overwhelming to count), and we still have tons of stuff left to do and buy for baby and the trip!

I discovered stretch marks on my stomach. Gross. I was hoping I had enough fat/stretchy skin before pregnancy to avoid those! But don't worry, I still wore a bikini to the pool yesterday. (Hence how I discovered them.) And no, there aren't any photos. Ha.

The movers come this Monday to box up all of our stuff! School is done Wednesday for me. State swim meet is this weekend for Daryl. His last day of work is next Friday.

Baby's doing great. She's really growing and letting me know she's running out of space. Somehow it's now possible for her to stick her little butt up under my ribs, and shove on my bladder at the same time! How is she so big already??

Prayers for peace and sanity during this time are much appreciated! I'm also starting to get really sad about leaving Kansas, so that sucks too.... Oh, and we're getting preggo pictures taken next weekend! By this wonderfully talented girl! :)

100 Days to Go!

YIKES!! Today marks day 100 in our pregnancy count-down. Hard to believe! Daryl always asks me, "Did you ever think you'd make it this far?" which always kind of makes me laugh, but sometimes my answer is no. It still kind of trips me out. At school everyone is counting down the days until summer, but I still can't bring myself to do that, because I'm afraid it will stress me out too much with everything we have left to get done.

When we talked about moving to Alaska, back before we were even pregnant, I never thought it would really be this much work. I mean, come on - the Coast Guard hires movers to come in, box up all your stuff and ship it for you, what else could there possibly be to do?? A lot, apparently. But, it will all get done, somehow. Or it won't. Those are our two options.

In baby news, she's doing good. We had our latest check-up last week, and everything's looking right on schedule. Well, except my weight gain. I gained too much last month. Geeze, I can never please this woman! (Remember the peach pie update?) But at least our little girl is happy - I'm guessing, as evidenced by her constant kicking of me! The placenta is still between us, though, so she isn't able to get in too many good jabs. Ha ha, take that, baby! (Just kidding.) I have no idea if she recognizes my voice or not, though, even though I talk all day long.

Anyway, this is kind of a rambling post, but I felt like I needed something to go along with my sweet new look. Don't worry, I spent 2 hours on the heading up there. It would have felt like wasted time if I didn't also update.

Take care, everyone. If you think about it, keep praying that our little girl stays nice and snug in there until AFTER we make it to Alaska!!

Baby Shower #1 and Nursery Plans

Hi folks!

Well, our first baby shower is under our belt! Whew! I never knew those things could be so exhausting - and I wasn't even the one planning anything! A SUPER HUGE thanks to all our Colorado family for putting it together - it was awesome and very special! I think my favorite part was all the hand-decorated onesies. Such a cute idea and now she'll be set with onesies for awhile!

I've also been making nursery plans... finally! Now that we know she's a girl it's much easier. We went last night to pick up our crib from Babies R Us but it wouldn't fit in the back of our SUV, so my dad's going to get it this weekend for us in his truck. Thanks dad! :) I'm hoping we'll be able to paint in whatever place we move to up there, but I haven't picked out the exact color yet. I did go to Hobby Lobby yesterday and get fabrics for her sheets and little decorative pillows. I'm excited about making my own sheets - I found a tutorial that looks pretty easy. I should be able to whip out a few in no sweat! Haha... when I have time, that is.

Anyway, enjoy the photos! Baby says hi - she's very active, kicking me all the time now! :)

Fabrics I've picked out for sheets and pillows. I'm kind of going for a very
girly theme, mostly pinks, greens, and purples (even though I couldn't find
the purple I wanted) with lots of other random colors thrown in!

                                            

Another shot of the fabric.

Baby shower! The garage was decorated so cute! All the bibs,
socks, etc. that you see hanging from the clotheslines we got to keep!

The birthday pool! Such a cute idea - guests got to pick a
date and time they think our little girl will arrive.

Cake - yum! And super cute!

A shot of some of the fam. I don't know where Wendy was. Daryl's dad
was outside, I think.

My favorite part, I think - these are all so cute and special!

Ah yes - here are the men!

The Big Reveal!

Well, the day has finally come! We got to reveal the sex of our little baby, and now YOU get to find out, too!

First things first, when we went to our last appointment to have our ultrasound, everything measured just fine and on target, so we still have our same due date of July 20. HOPEFULLY, since we'll be traveling to our new home in Alaska about a month before then, this little kid will stay put until we're getting settled.

Anyway, ready for the big news? It's... a...

GIRL!!

Of course we would have been happy with either boy or girl, so this is very exciting! I've already bought a few little girl outfits, and can't wait to start planning the nursery! Daryl's excited too, and I know he's going to be a great daddy, and try his best not to spoil her. :) Oh, also exciting is that I've been feeling her move and kick around in there for the last week. She's tapping around in there right now, in fact!

Here are a few more pictures of the baby, plus one or two more recent belly shots of me.

This is one from a couple of weeks ago. I think I was about 19 weeks in this one. I'm currently 21 weeks now.

This is a shot of our little girl!

You can see her little foot here! The toes are on the right side of the picture and the heel is on the left.

We had our reveal party with friends last night, and this is the cake I made. The inside was pink, of course. :)

Peach Pie and Update

I'm sitting here eating a slice of peach pie. Not homemade, I just bought it at Dillon's, lest you be too impressed. The smell and taste of sweets FINALLY does not make me want to vomit everywhere, and at my check-up yesterday my mid-wife wasn't very happy that I lost a pound since last time, hence the decision to eat peach pie for dinner.

We had another appointment yesterday, and I'm so pleased and relieved to report that it was great - praise God! I get so nervous every time we go in ... granted, it's less and less nerve-wracking as time goes on, but I still think they should take your blood pressure LAST thing, not FIRST thing. Anyway, we heard the heartbeat again, chatted a bit, and scheduled our next appointment - with an ultrasound!! Woohoo! I'm so excited to find out more about this little baby. :)

Lastly, here are the 2 belly pics I've taken so far. I really didn't think my stomach was expanding so much until I saw these photos next to each other. Oh, and yes - I did choose this photo effect because it makes my skin look more tan.

12 weeks

15 1/2 weeks